Friday, October 8, 2010

if i were rich!!!

#346 I would have all my utensils made out of ground cinnamon. Yum.

#347 I would have all my meals served on sleeping babies. Some might say it's a little opulent, but I find that food holds it's temperature better if served on the warm belly of a child.*

#348 I would invent a Fart Transmutenator™ to make my poots smell awesome. I would also require everyone entering my home to be fitted with one too, so that their poots did not offend me or the sleeping baby plates. See the informational graphic below.

#379 I would eat one teaspoon of glitter and one teaspoon of St. Ives Apricot Scrub® per day, to exfoliate my colon and coat my stomach like a disco ball. This would not cause me medical issues because I will also eat tiny robots with brooms and Mr. Clean® Magic Erasers® to remove them each night.

*Disclaimer: OBVIOUSLY I am joking and do not in any way, shape, or form condone or practice child abuse. Please do not take anything I say seriously, it's all for entertainment purposes!

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